IS OUR HAPPINESS CONDITIONAL?????STORY OF A MEDICAL STUDENT

Is our happiness conditional? Do we delay the experience of feeling happy until we have achieved the next step? At one time happiness was conditional on getting into medical school, next was passing the exams, then it is graduating medical school and finally when we become an attending...then we will be happy. What is wrong with being happy now in the role we fill today?

Srikumar Rao's recent discourse, "Plug Into Your Hard Wired Happiness," really drives home the point that we can enjoy life as it is without setting emotional pleasure aside to await a measurable outcome. He encourages investing not only in the outcome, but also in the process. Unfortunately, we are focused too often on the end goal without seeing the smaller steps before us, whether we fail or succeed.

This principle can be easily applied to life as a medical student. We strive every day to choose the right answers on exams, please our clinical professors, and learn extensive amounts of information for future use. There will be many times when we fall short of an errorless performance. If we recognize the role we are playing now as students, we will make the progress needed to obtain the final outcome we all had in mind at the beginning. Invest in the process and enjoy the journey, it is just as important as the end product.

I love being a medical student. It pushes me to explore my interpersonal, critical thinking, and knowledge based skills. I have made my fair share of mistakes on exams and with my clinical preceptors. Like a child experiencing something for the first time, it is still a wonderful exploration of who I am and who I want to be, despite the difficulties. Don't wait until the end to experience happiness; you might just put it off again. Find ways to be happy every day, even when the going gets tough.

STORY OF SONA

Doctor saheb 1 mahine se saas phool rahi hain….” A middle-aged voice caught my attention on a busy OPD day consisting of mainly patients with nonspecific symptoms..till then not quite a happening day..I turned around to find a village-woman dressed in a typical malwa attire,slender built,pointed chin.. ugly features…”Bacchi bahut bimar hain”…I turned around to find a small girl standing right beside her.. small than her age, looking obvious sick…

I asked her the history,the usual stuff examination & all …. Cardiovascular exam. Positive for a Mid-diastolic murmur.& signs of congestive Heart failure.. “Rheumatic Heart Disease.” I muttered to myself….The girl was not very communicative..Mother was doing the talking on her behalf..I said ”Isko to Bharti hona padega.” i.e she needs an admission & further evaluation.. The lady’s face saddened .she said she had come 3 days back & were also advised the same for admission.I scolded her then why did’nt she got admitted on that day……She said that “kya kare Doctorsaheb, bharti hone ke liye paise nahi the..Jugadkar aaj aaye hu.” Considering that admission to the wards cost around Rs.25 admission fees & nominal 10-20 Rs. Per day for food etc. she took around 3 days to arrange for them, I at once got a overview of her financial status….. I enquired abt her family..The lady had 6 offsprings & sona was youngest among them ..2 of her sons left home & were lost. Her husband died 3 years back…so It was a Hand-to-mouth state of her family…….. 2 of her boys work as a Labourer & ran the family.





“Severe Mitral Stenosis Mitral valve area 0.5 cm .square,severe Pulmonary Hypertension ( PA pressure 100 mmHg),severe TR, minimal MR.” Ah! Our Professor of Cardiology exclaimed….. I bet she is going to require a Balloon Mitral Valvotomy….. ….. Dr.kundan where are you lost in thoughts??? I suddenly jolted from my thoughts…. Plz. Take down the ECHO report of the girl..I relpied “yes sir…..”

Mind kept of thinking abt the girl…How can god be so cruel to a 14 yr old child….?? Severe MS Rhematic heart Disease… the valve of her heart is abnormally narrowed i.e stenosed ,Hampering the Blood supply to her heart…

Where was I as a 14 year old… Happy in my home getting the best of facilities ,enjoying the best of my health……..

Somehow the innocence on the girls face was disturbing…. How am I going to explain to the girl’s mother abt her condition..How am I to face her on my daily rounds?? Where on earth would she bring the 50,000 for her operation???



There are schemes runned by gov.t for the poor …Below poverty line Card Holders.. so that they can get operated / treated..Luckily we could manage to obtain a yellow below poverty card from sona’s home.. But as with any other Gov.t schemes there is a significant delay/Paperwork involved..2-3 mths ..I guessed ..

Till then will sona stay in the Hospital?? Will her mother have such patience… well considering the Fate of a girl child in India, I won’t be surprised if her mother accepts her daughter’s Disease as part of the family’s Misfortune & leave her to fate… take her home without waiting for the govt. help…..We know of SO many SOna’s being lost this way…………………………….

Well for now everyday I feel relieved to find Sona on Bed no. 16 in our female medicine ward 29.. But who knows this Hope may be short-lived…………………………………………………………………..

WHO DECIDES YOUR DESTINY?????

Have you ever thought that why you are born as a human being, according to hindu mythology you are born as human being after 36 corers of animal or insects birth.
Is it god who decides what you will be …an animal, a insect or a human being. If god is someone who decides our destiny, then why is he not impartial? Why everyone is not equally beautiful? Why not everybody getting equal food? Why are innocent children dying of hunger? Does it mean that god loves some selected people and he wants to punish some bad people? If god decides our destiny then everybody should be happy and prosperous, because we know that he loves us equally.
Destiny is something your actions (KARMA) decides for you. If you say that what you are today is because of your destiny, you are absolutely wrong. Where you stand today is because of your actions (KARMA) of past, and what you are doing today will decide your future. Be it anything your money, relationships, your career, health everything will be decided by your own actions of today. You cannot escape your actions (KARMA), because once you have acted the reaction will follow you. You may escape the effect of your action up to a limited time period but you will face it one day what you call the destiny.
Your destiny is basically an overall result of your interactions with your surroundings,( your surroundings consists of both living and non-living things). When things go wrong in our life or when you start asking……… “ GOD WHY ONLY ME?”, when inspite of all kind of reasoning’s we don’t find the answers to our problems, we blame only one person…”THE POOR GOD or THE DESTINY”.
Many a times we say it happened to me because it was in my destiny. We blame the destiny and the god for our failures in career, relationships and bad health. We never tried to analyze why this happened to me, we never question ourselves, we never question our actions. It is the tendency of the brain to rest in peace, we never try to analyze our actions and frequently blame others and when we don’t find anyone to blame we blame god and his destiny.
I will give a very good example of one of my friend who refused to marry his girlfriend of 3 years, giving a reason that their relationship was not destined to culminate in a marriage. My question is why the hell are you born with that 5 kgs of head on your shoulders if god /destiny has to decide everything.
I would rather say that “NEWTONS 3rd LAW “ if modified is nothing but “GOD/DESTINY”. …………………………………….”EVERY ACTION HAS EQUAL AND SIMILAR REACTION”. If you love and spread brotherhood you will be loved, if you hate and creat imbalance in your surroundings you will face the result, which you will blame to destiny.
So let us not blame god or destiny for any of our failure or problem we face in terms of relationships , wealth or health. We are solely responsible for what we are today & what we will be tomorrow. We should face every problem & difficulty with a positive attitude and courage. Let us live this precious life with a lot of “POSITIVE ENERGY”, because when you think positively the positivity spreads to your surroundings and will make this earth a better place to live.

ARE YOU BEAUTIFULL &GOOD TOO?

 

There are some incidents which creat great impact in your life. Some incident cahnge your life long concept about love, friendship & humanity.

I remember one such incident which I can never forget the rest of my life. It was during my graduation days in a small place in maharastra, where we were a group of 50 students in one batch, all came wid a dream of becoming great physicians & surgeons. All of us were staying in a hostel. We stayed in that hostel for 4 ½ years like a family.
There was a guy “X” in our batch, we used to call him “holy-man”. He used to go for mass gathering every weekends to his home,he read holy bible daily, he never ever lied in his life, he never used bad words for anyone, he never did bitching about anyone, he never ever saw any movies in his life(forget about the porn films,a hit in medical hostels). For him masturbation was a crime, he was a good boy of our batch.
But we used to tease him a lot,by forcing him to see porn movies and a lot of funny stuffs, which I cant tell. But he was always cool with it and we were all friends after all. With time we realised that he was different so we stopped making fun out of him and we all respected him as a holy-man…”X”.
Four years passed, during our final MBBS exams, one of our friend “Y” had a very high grade fever in the night before our medicine paper. Fortunately only “X” had antipyretics(fever lowering drugs) in the whole hostel.
So “Y”asked “X”…….……”do u have a paracetamol ?”
“X”…………………………..”yes I have, but I will not give you”.
“Y”……………………………”why?”
“X”………………………….”because you people have always teased me and made fun of me, and you are not my friend.”
……and he closed the door saying he want to study for the exams.
What I want to point out is…..what is the use of those “praying hands” if they cannot become a “helping hand”?
My question is wether “X” is “GOOD” or is he “BAD” ?
HE IS GOOD BECAUSE HE NEVER LIED?
HE IS GOOD BECAUSE HE NEVER USED BAD WORDS FOR ANYONE?
HE IS GOOD BECAUSE HE NEVER WATCHED A PORN ?
“OR”
IS HE BAD?
Although the incident is very small and people may ignore such small incidents in their life, but it has changed my definition about good and bad people.
The questions which are in my mind are…………….
1. Are people good because they are not doing anything bad, or are they bad because they are not doing anything good ?
2. Are people good to you because you are not doing anything bad to them or they are good to you because you are doing good to them ?
I think there is nothing called “GOOD or BAD”, no one is “BEAUTIFULL” or “UGLY”. A person who was bad yesterday may appear good today and someone who was beautifull yesterday may appear ugly today.
Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting a rapist to spare you because you are a virgin.
ITS ALL YOUR IMAGINATIONS WHICH MAKES PEOPLE AROUND YOU BEAUTIFULL & GOOD.

“MARRIAGE----A GAME OF INTELLENGENCE, DON’T BE EMOTIONAL

 When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers. When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity. When we die, our widows get the life insurance. The average man’s life consists of: Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going, forty years of having his wife ask the same question.

All the bachelors’ on the other side of the screen, planning to marry the girl of your dreams. Use your grey matter, keep your emotions aside!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Her innocence, sweet kiddies’ nature, driving u crazy?????????ohhhhhhhhhh your sweetheart is a ‘MAMMA’S GIRL’. Think 10 times before marrying.
???????????????YYYYYYYY, she will be your wife, but still a baby of her mother. She will talk to her mother at least once every 2 hours. Whether u know it or not, even the dinner menu will be decided by her mother who is 2000 miles away from you. You will under total control of your mother-in-law…….”

 “Are you a lover boy, looking for a romantic girl or u have romantic girlfriend. She enjoys your company because you buy her expensive gifts. Your romance will sustain till the time u buy her expensive gifts. If you marry her, she expects to fly business class even if that means that you have taken a personal loan from your employer to pay the EMI of the house that you bought in HER name……..
Romance will fly out of the window and love out of the door.”


 OHHHHHHHHH……BOYYYYYY, you are modern, her dressing sense is killing you or her style of talking is making you crazy. You want to marry her because she is amazingly beautiful. She is a “sizzler” and you expect her to become a “cold coffee” after marriage………..boss u r wrong; remember cold coffee come with added flavors. She may change “her definition of boyfriends”, you may never find her when you come back from work(she does not work because you are there to work like donkey to support her).

So all the bachelors’ out there don’t be in fool’s paradise that you got the girl of your dreams, “IT MAY BE THE BITTER HALF”.

My experience in residency

Tring….tring..tring….tring……(2.00 am) in morning, “sir a unknown patient presented with acute pain in abdomen after a road traffic accident”.I asked whats on x-ray ?Junior “sir….its a gas under diaphragm”.Me “admit and prepare for urgent surgery”.Junior “sir ….no one is with the patient .who will arrange blood for surgery and give consent for the surgery,”Me “if we don’t operate he will die.”The patient was admitted in SICU (surgical icu )I examined the patient and said

“Tumhara operation karana padegaa”Patient “dacter saab ek bidi de do.”I was shocked, in spite of having a perforation in is gut , and such severe pain that could take his life he was asking for a smoke.The patient was lying all alone in ICU with a per urethral catheter and a nasogastric tube,as usual in any governmental hospital, there is always scarcity of resources.I said “tumhara operation karna padega.”Patient. “mujhey nahi karwana operation.”It was a very difficult situation, we knew that he would die in few hours if not operated and he is not giving consent.I decided to operate no matter what happens, we took him to operation theater, arranged 2 units of blood somehow, all sutures , antibiotics a and every small thing required for the surgery.

To my astonishment I found 2 lits of pus inside his abdomen and a small puncture(perforation) in his small gut .The surgery took 2 hours and we were done with it by 5.30 am in the morning , had a cup of tea …..paanch (5) ruupiya ka “ek cut chaai” from a thelaa outside the hospital campus. That chaai was a luxury for a general surgery resident in this set up.
I took a power nap for an hour ……. …its 8:00 am , time to take rounds and more important than round is to get urself ready for the “firing from the senior consultants” for no reasons……….the irony is “ab toh inti aadat ho gayi hai ki firing na ho toh constipation hota hai”.I went to see MUTTAPPA in SICU ………..the surgery was good , we arranged 2 units of blood, all necessary antibiotics and all other requirements.Its 4th post operative day, muttappa is recovering well from the trauma….i remember the wordings of my teacher….surgery deals with “TATTI & PATTI”(motion & dressing)….dressing keeps the patient happy and if patient passed motion in a GI surgery the surgeon is happy….so muttappa passed motion and I was happy.Three months have passed , muttappa still calls up to say “namstay dacter saab”……..this life is not all about money and we believe in humanity . It may have taken a little more effort for me to look after that lone patient from a remote village from kerela, today he is alive with his 2 year old daughter and his wife and has left smoking bidi.